The Purpose Driven Life

We are celebrating the Purpose Driven Life. Every day our pastor Tim sends us a daily devotional and I will be adding them here tomorrow. We go to small group studies on Tuesdays and me and some other people in our newly formed "Drama Ministry" perform each week. So please visit daily; it is very enriching. We are on day 10 tomorrow so you will get 10 all at once and then we'll be caught up. Sorry for the lack of posts, new job, one year old and diving head long into being active in the church---well, I am a little short on time. Loving you in Jesus name!

The Best Compliment Ever!!!!!

I was just talking with a co-worker about how God would lead my husband and I in an upcoming life decision and he said, "Are you one of those "Big Christians"" And I was so excited to say, "Yes, I am." It was awesome! Ok, I just had to share that.

"How Can I Pray For You?"

I joined a small group bible study, and I just realized this is my very first one. I am not a new Christian, per se, as I have known for most of my life, the Truth that Jesus is God. However in terms of realizing there is more to my relationship with God than just one hour every Sunday and prayers at night and in times of need, I am very new. I have a lot of respect for the Catholic faith and I always will, but I have come to feel that it just isn't enough for me. There is comfort and beauty in the rituals and repetitiveness of Mass, but there is also complacency. I think it is too easy to "drift off" due to how much the same stories are covered over and over. Maybe it was just me or my church, but now that I am in a church that delves so much deeper into the Bible and into community and member outreach, I hunger for more.
I digress, back to my first Bible study. I really love it. We are studying a workbook, called "Experiencing God; Knowing and Doing the Will of God" by Henry T. Blackaby and Claude V. King. It is funny because, I told my MIL (mother in law) that I was a little bit disappointed that the only Bible study that fit into my schedule wasn't the one that was more about Jesus. "Mom," I said, "God is easy, you'd have to be an idiot not to believe in God, but Jesus is more challenging." Then I went off my meds and for weeks I couldn't feel God, and I realized how naive the above statement was. Yes I believe in God, that is easy, but do I know Him? Do I have a "love relationship" with Him? Not really, (or should I say it was one sided?) but I sure am trying to now! Another thing that is new to me is witnessing. How do I do it? Pastor Tim said you live your life as a testimony so that when others view it, they know of your faith and by what and how you say that you are Christian and that is also witnessing. But I want to do more. Yesterday, I was doing my Bible study. I am sooooo far behind, I decided to just do the current lesson. I took my materials outside and just sat out there reading. It was so beautiful with a gentle breeze blowing, not too hot, it was a perfect setting for studying the Word. I was thankful for the rare quiet moments. One of the units had a bunch of ideas for how to engage someone seeking guidance and one of the options just struck me. "How can I pray for you?" It is easy to say, "I will keep you in my prayers." I have said that a hundred times, and really, that puts an end to any discussion in a way. What else can the other person say but, thanks and boom!, they are "off the hook," but "How can I pray for you?" Is fantastic because it calls for the other person to get involved in the conversation. I thought maybe you could use this phrase with your co-worker Malia. I am excited to try this, I just learned about it yesterday, and so far have not used it, but I will keep you updated.
Our church is going to be doing the "40 days of Purpose" program in October and I am so excited to go out and DO something in the community. I am going to continue to share what happens in my Bible study and some of the ideas and scriptures that effect me. Also I wanted to share that we dedicated Liam to the Lord this Sunday and it was really neat. I am excited to see what God has planned for Liam and I am confident in God's promise that he will help me raise Liam to be a good Christian man. Well, that is all for now. If I was rambling at all, it is because as I finish this, it is past midnight! Good night my friend, I love you.

CHP Officer Killed in the Line of Duty

A friend of Chris' was killed in the line of duty. Please pray for the Clearman family. I really identify with the wife because she is a Marine wife, cop wife and a police dispatcher just like me. I just feel so awful for this family. We will be attending the funeral Thursday. There is not much else to say...Til later.

I know You are with me

I am having kind of a rough time lately. I took myself off my Zoloft, (after eleven years), and I did Ok, for a little while and then I totally crashed. Good thing is I am back on them, bad thing is it takes 4-5 weeks for them to get back into the system, and I have almost 3 weeks to go.
Eleven years ago, right before I was diagnosed with depression cause by a lack of serratonin (sp?), my thoughts were repetitive and every bad thought I had, I felt the need to "confess" to Chris. I felt like I didn't love him any more, and I told him so. This was before we were married, and he stuck by me. He knew, I was not myself, and lucky for me, he was willing to stick around until I "came back." I now realize that back then the depression manifested in attacking what, at that time, was the worst thing I felt could happen to me; losing Chris. This time, I am more mature, I am able to rationalize, that this is temporary, I don't have anything wrong with me other than a chemical imbalance, and I just need to hang in there. However, this time the attack is manifesting in what is so important to me, especially now; my faith. I feel, at times, very far from God, and I KNOW it is me, and I know it is temporary, but I hate the way this feels. I know he is surrounding me with his love and patiently awaiting me to be back to my old self, but sometimes I feel so desolate. I started going back to my small group bible study, and I look forward to going to church on Sundays.I think that going to both of those is more important now than ever, because though I am weakened, I do have faith. I have faith that this will pass, I have faith God is with me and I know that part of being a good Christian is hanging in there, and believing, even when times are hard. I look into my son's eyes and I see that he is a gift from God, and things continue to happen in my life that demonstrates, so clearly, He is here and He is taking care of me. I just can't wait to feel right again. The devil may think he can pick at me, while I am down and not as strong, but he is wrong. I belong to God, and this is one fight that I will not lose.

Please Pray for Bailey

I am a total dog nut. I have four dogs. I don't want to go into a lot of details. To tell you the truth, I am emotionaly exhausted from the past few days, but the bottom line is, all my dogs got taken away by animal control for killing a chihuahua and in the process they lost sweet Bailey. We are waiting to get the three that are in "jail" back, hopefully on Monday, but we have spend hours and hours the past 4 days searching for Bailey. I am a wreck, and I pray we find Bailey safe and OK, and that we can get the other three out of "hock" on Monday. Thanks.

What Does God Want From You?

Today's lesson at church, was on God's unique plan for you. Every one of us was created with a special specific set of talents that provide us with the ability to fulfil God's plan for us. There is something that you can do, that no one else can, for the Lord. I don't know about you, but to me that sounds exciting. Sometimes I get a little scared that my mission in life was to create Liam, and now that I fulfilled that, I am done. Not that I wouldn't be honored and thrilled to have completed what God asked of me, it is just that I so desperately want to be here to watch him grow into a Christian Warrior. I know for a FACT, God wanted Chris and I together; I have no doubt that is true. I get very excited when I think of what our future holds as a Christian couple. Recently I began teaching an American Sign Language class at my church. It has been so satisfying and wonderful. My students are picking up so fast, and even though I was waaaaay out of practice, everything is flooding back to me. It is uncanny how quick I can learn and re-learn signs. Is that my calling? Will I one day start a deaf ministry? How exciting....To Be Continued!

The Da Vinci Dud

I had this whole blog entry planned outlining how inaccurate the Da Vinci code was in it's portrayal of both Christianity and the Catholic Church, but you know what? It is not worth it. They tried to stir up contraversy and anger in and among the religious communities and it just didn't work. Like arrows bouncing off of armor, ( to steal a comparison from Pastor Tim.) So instead I will share some main stream movie reviews I found online at "rottentomatoes.com"

"The script explains everything twice, spelling out the big words three times, so that even if you've never heard of Jesus or Mary Magdalene you can still figure out this story"

"For people who insist that the movie is never as good as the book, your case just got stronger."

"You know a movie's a dud when even its self-flagellating albino killer monk isn't any fun."

"Frankly, it's a stinker."

"Every time [Tom Hank's character] starts to educate [the female lead's character] the urge to tune out is overwhelming."

"No it's not as bad as you've heard, it's worse."

"How dark the con of Ron - The DA Vinci Code plays sort of like National Treasure with all the fun sucked out of it."

"Heaven help me, I can't resist spilling the beans of Brown's hysterical heretical history: It was Professor Plum in the Vatican Library with a lead chalice."

"Who knew controversy could be so dull?"

"Bad enough to offend even an athiest."

"The most controversial thriller of the year turns out to be about as exciting as watching your parents play Sudoku."

"The film is faithful enough, but it's hard to imagine it making many converts."

And finally, I am happy to report that People Magazine is reporting DVC as worthy of only 1 1/2 stars. (I think even Dude, Where's My Car got 2.) The media's attempt to create drama and furor seems to have fallen flat on it's face. Again.

No Such Thing as "Luck"

Pastor Tim had a cool message at Church yesterday. Since the Lord is in control of all things, nothing "just happens."

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I take great comfort in that. There is great solace in "everything happens for a reason." I love that God has plans for me, and that even when things seem to be falling apart, God is in control. If we let him which is really hard sometimes. I am notorious for giving my problems/life/day to God and then taking them back again. I am so lucky he knows this about me. No, not lucky, BLESSED!

P.S.

Malia, your blog was perfect (and NOT too long!) and I feel the same way. Sometimes, I feel like, "Here I am Lord, use me...." and then I get distracted with my own 'issues'. Or I don't know how to go about ministering. One of the things we can do is brainstorm on how we can bring others to the Lord. I have no idea. I still feel very new in my faith. Not as a Christian, but as a non-Catholic. Gentle readers, (should we be lucky enough one day to have readers, that is...) Malia and I went to the same Catholic junior high and we were both raised Catholic. I love the Catholic Church it is beautiful, important and rich in traditions, but it is NOT all about the evangelical side. That is what I am brand new to and yes, dare I say still uncomfortable with, but I will strive to do better. I want to learn and do my part. That is part of the reason for this blog, to learn! I also would like to write more about being Catholic, just not in this post. Another time! Coming soon to a blog near you.....

Psalm 139

For gosh sake, it's in the title, "smacked upside the head....." and yet sometimes I still don't get it! I have had some rough times the past few days and things were just piling on top of my shoulders like bricks. At one point, I honestly felt like I was going insane or that my head was going to explode due to this massive pressure and just what felt like, blow after blow to my life. Well, my husband, Chris, always feeds our baby Liam his night time bottle, so he tells me to join them. I was sitting there in the darkened room, watching them, and being grateful, but stressed, when this quiet thought came into my head, clear as day, but not my own and said, "These are worldly things and you need to let them go." And I felt so sure it was the Holy Spirit and so calm as I heard it. And I let it all go. For about 5 minutes because I am human and I totally suck at letting it all go...BUT when I remember those words and relax, I get this feeling of calm. Since that day other events have unfolded that cause the events of that day to have meaning and make sense. It is amazing to watch. Like dominos falling. My pastor said recently, when you are filled up with God's love there is no room in your heart for fear. It is so true!
Now the reason I mentioned Psalm 139 is because at two different churches, on two different day that Psalm came up. I found that neat. The part that touched my life, right now, would be verse 16 "Your eyes have seen my actions; in your book they are all written; my days were limited before one of them existed." God knows the plan, I don't have to and I need to take comfort in that and LET IT GO!

22 years ago....

I met Malia. She is my sister in Christ. Even though we are seperated and at either end of the state, I know I can count on her for support, love and great conversations about God. She will be joining me as co- "owner" of this blog. I can't wait!!!!!!!!! I will be posting more later, specifically on this one Psalm that has popped up in my life twice in two different places. Til later!

Simply Put

I am at work today. I am a police/911 dispatcher. I don't know what I was thinking when I took this shift. I DON'T work Sunday morning; I want to go to church. Sigh, oh well. So before I left, I said prayer with my friend Alicia and her son Sean. They are missing church also to watch my son Liam. Anyway, I prayed, then Alicia did and she asked Sean if he wanted to say a prayer. Very solemnly, he said, "Yes. God please help us with this day, Amen." I think that is just about covers it!

Allow Myself to Introduce....Myself

I really want to be a good Christian. I want to know Jesus and have a strong relationship with him. God has given me so many gifts and blessings. All my life the path has always been so wonderful and blessed and yet sometimes, I still get impatient. I still just don't have the patience, or I don't "get it." Therefore, sometimes God seems to need to make it overly obvious with me. That's when I need Him to "smack me upside the head" with it, and He does. I love it. I am trying to learn to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. I don't claim to have all the answers, but I know where to find them. This is my journey and you are welcome to come along.